See ya later Sweethearts

Love ...True love...it's what brings us together today ...(Princess Bride)

So, its Valentines day yet again - and in times past that meant a nice dinner out and a box of chocolates, some flowers -- I actually asked my husband to skip that this year - for a multitude of reasons - 1) I really don't need chocolate 2) I get frustrated eating out and paying a ton of money for foods that we can make cheaper and usually better at home (some restaurants are sooo worth it...some are not just saying) and 3) we are getting ready to go on vacation on Tuesday and I have other things I would like to save money for.

That being said I do want to talk about love -- more importantly self love. A wise woman (my mother) once told me that you can't fully love someone else until you love yourself. I want to address that today - that self love that we all need to work on - even if you think you have it down there is always room for improvement so bear with me here.

Do you give yourself indulgences more often than is healthy? Food? Wine? Hard Liquors? Recreational substances? Do you sit more than you move? Do you eat out more than you cook?
Hey! I am not judging here I can say yes to some of those things -- some more than others in times past, plus you are the only one who has to know your answers. Do you follow up those answers with a -- well, I had hard day at work so I deserve down time with a glass (bottle) of wine -- I was really busy and the drive through was quicker -- I got up early, I am too tired to go to the gym, I will just sit and watch The Bachelor (or whatever TV show comes on that you like) --Still, not judging -- I have used all of those excuses.

If you can answer yes to any of those things - or other hard questions of the same line that you might want to ask yourself...have you ever though, I just want to get healthier, be in less pain, not feel tired all the time, --- the questions could go on and on here - still with me? still saying yes to any or all of them? Ya -- me too sometimes.

So, the thing is I want to love myself - I want to be around to love myself a long, long time. I want to be proud of the decisions that I am making. Am I perfect, no. Will I always make perfect choices -- uhhh heck no! BUT here is the big thing here - I do love myself enough to try - I love myself enough to keep trying - I love myself enough to start small habits now that will build up to bigger habits later -- not all the habits but one at a time.

I am not saying never have those indulgences -- trust me on that one! But maybe, just maybe if you want to be that happier healthier person - your priorities and your indulgences need to shift. Put you first, love yourself enough to make those changes - don't want until its being done because you are afraid of xyz test results at the doctors office - or are terrified even to go because of what you might here. Love yourself enough to do it now, today --one step at a time. So here is me saying, see you later sweethearts (candies...you know the cute ones with the messages like be mine, I heart you, etc)

Give yourself the best Valentines day gift that you could ever want --- a truly healthy and happy you. 

Derailed -- or Switching tracks?

So this week was a hard week for me. A very stressful, emotional, horrible week. I did something that I said I wouldn't do anymore -- I ate bad icky things because of my emotional upheaval. While its great to have a plan -- it is not as easy to follow said plan during an emotional time. I will keep trying, keep practicing, keep picking myself up - brushing myself off and moving on. Why? Because I am worth it  - the time that I spend trying to get healthier is not a waste of time, it is a gift to me -- better health. It is a gift to those who love me as well, because I will be around longer if I am taking care of my body.

Here is the thing with derailing -- did you really derail? Is it perhaps instead just an opportunity to switch tracks? Seriously -- So lets walk through this - I had a bad Wed (a really horrible day, was in tears off and on all day) I didn't think about my plan, I didn't think about food - I had a stop somewhere and instead of letting myself just cry in the car before I went into the office I did what I do I shoved the emotions down, went in to work - grabbed a small bag of Cheetos, a strawberry soda and a Butterfinger. -- none of these would be healthy regardless of the day, but all together? when I wasn't hungry? just stressed and emotional? spelled for a bad combo.

So, while my plan is excellent (for me) - it isn't going to work if I can't figure a way out in those situations to actually remember I have a plan! So what is a girl to do? Derail and stay in this bad place OR just switch tracks? I am going to revisit my plan - and find a way that will force me to actually use my plan - or at least remember its there.

I am going to fail I am going to fall down. I will not always be perfect. What I WON'T do is stay down. I won't make excuses -- I made bad choices in an emotional state and they were my choices to make. I won't stop trying, stop moving forward. I will not derail - I will simply switch tracks and keep going down this line I am on, until I find the perfect solutions for me, and hit my destination. How about you?

Goodbye Rubber Necking

I often find myself sitting on the interstate in what feels like a parking lot. Not knowing what lies ahead -- construction? a wreck? -- Truth be told it doesn't matter because either way the interstate has stopped moving and what should be 70mph has now become 0 - 10mph. It is frustrating, causes me anger (mostly at myself because I am usually running behind slightly or have deadlines) and what really angers me is when this happens because of a wreck on the other side of the interstate that has nothing really to do with us but people want to rubber neck to see what happened, causing slow downs and delays -- or an accident on our side.

Have you found that life seems to be like that? Not just on the interstate but in your own life...with your own goals? I have. Let me explain.

I have 3 children - and there is nothing that a mother doesn't want to do for her children. When they hurt, I hurt. I have mentioned in the past that I am an emotional eater. Sooo the wreck on the other side of the interstate (or house in this case) has caused me to slow down or stop my progress because I have stopped to rubber neck (comfort my child, commiserate, etc). While I am not saying this is a bad thing -- What I am saying is - stop letting random excuses get in the way of progress. I have let their things derail me and cause my own accident.

Quote - What you do to get in your own way is more powerful than any obstacle that others can place in your path - Gay Hendricks

My children didn't put this road block in front of me, I did this to myself. The people in my lane rubbernecking didn't have lights and sirens on our side of the street - they did this slow down and delay themselves.

I have to have ways to handle this or allow myself to forever be caught looking back and wondering what the heck just happened here? How did I just eat a box of cookies, I wasn't even paying attention! I don't want that anymore - I can NOT allow other peoples problems (or my own...because that's a whole different type of accident waiting for a place to happen)  to cause me to crash and burn. Stop rubber necking! By all means be there for your child - but eating your own emotions is bad enough - don't eat theirs too! (Or smoke theirs, or drink theirs, or or or....insert your own demon/addiction here)

Say goodbye to rubber necking on the highways, in your personal life -- keep moving forward full speed a head instead of slowing down or coming to a stop when it is sooo not necessary. Good luck my friends!

Pushing past the addiction

Hey there its me again, your friendly neighborhood food addict bringing you another edition of Goodbye to You! Addiction is a scary thing. No matter what it is you are trying to say goodbye to its so easy to get sucked back in and slide down that slippery slope. TRUST ME!!

Sugar and I have a huge love hate relationship and as much as I love it, I do not love the way that it makes me feel, depend on it, need it, crave it. I THINK that I get it whipped and then here comes another holiday or a "just this once" occasion -- and here I go on this roller coaster again.

I can't tell you how to beat it - I can't tell you to look it in the eye and never go back -- because here is the thing - sugar and I will never completely be done with each other - I have to find a way to co-exist because let me tell you (going back to the Christmas blog) There will be times that I want a glass of wine, a piece of birthday cake, holiday pie etc -- and I am not going to cease living just to stay away from this particular addiction -- but, let me tell you what I HAVE been doing

I have been limiting myself - sounds easy right? I know its not - but I try -- I start by making sure that I am not hungry when I am surrounded by that temptation - and stopping with one piece (if I even finish that) if it stops tasting amazing - save the rest for another time. I now that they holidays and company are past -- try to not keep all that good stuff in my house --- and I try to only eat treats after my dinner time meal -- why? Because I have eaten healthy all day, so I don't want to reverse all that good eating by going on a binge, I am less hungry and there is less of the day left to over do -- one treat (fruit counts on that too) -- My body thinks woohoo a TREAT!! So I don't feel deprived and I can continue off to bed without feeling like I have blown my whole week - might as well just binge eat!

Side note here - sugar/food addiction you can try to work on , if your slope is to slippery stay away from it -- but seriously folks -- do not try to moderate when its an alcohol, drug, gambling addiction that can destroy your lives -- not worth it - and if the food/sugar addiction is destroying your life as well -- still, not worth it!

Quote  -- and sorry in advance I don't remember where I read it but it is not mine!

Quote - Addictions are lies they promise escape, but only bring bondage. 

For me - I have been working on the why -- why do I feel the need to have this thing - what does it give me, what am I trying to mask by having it? We will go into this a little more in the future -- why? Because, honestly it is something I am still working through in my journey. 

You are the key to your journey to bring yourself out of the bondage of the addictions that hold you in captivity. Good luck in your journey to setting yourself free!  

Goodbye 2015

Today is a new day - a fresh start - a new beginning...welcome 2016!!

While most of the world is going to be working on new years resolutions or starting the latest greatest fitness plan, diet or pill/shake etc etc - I will be waxing nostalgic over 2015 and continuing with the plans that I have been working on for the better part of a year... I will continue to learn, to grow (mentally NOT in waist size!!) and to do what I am supposed to be doing.

So, this year was a GREAT year for me - I found the things that work for me with eating, and am wrapping my mind around what I need to do to stop my brain from getting in my way, and that's all well and good - but what I have found largely in 2015 was things that definitely don't work for me...and that is cool too! I will totally take that! Ya know why? Because it's something I wont try again because it didn't work.

Here is the thing - I have to do what works for me - which isn't going to be the same thing that works for you, or my husband, or the neighbor down the street. Our bodies are all different, our stresses are different, our hormones are different...we are not one size fits all...(which let me digress for a moment and say -- who the heck comes up with that -- it does NOT fit all, usually doesn't even fit most -- just slap your size M on there and call it a day already!) Ok -- so back to my other stream of thought, do NOT think that just because you may not be where you want to be after trying all year last year that it is time to give up. Just learn what you were meant to learn from that, know what doesn't work for you and move on. Find what does - keep researching.

What has my research taught me -- shakes/pills/potions/lotions/miracle cures -- not really a thing. (I am sorry if you sell one of these things -- but the reality in it is it may give an energy boost to help with the things that DO work for you and yay if they do) - but in my opinion healthy food by itself without the typical SAD (standard American diet) will do the same thing and have no side effects or extra costs incurred. There is not a magic cure.

For me - diets that count calories or points or other macro nutrients -- also not my thing. Why you may ask? Easy -- I am lazy! To me counting everything and looking it up continually is not sustainable and I could gain weight back -- and think about this carefully if you are eating 1200 calories in nachos and soda, you ARE staying in your calorie range or points - but what nutritional benefit does it give your body -- except maybe heartburn?

I will say on a non diet note that 2015 brought me great joys - my youngest daughter graduated high school, my middle daughter gave me another grand daughter (the 2 most beautiful lights of my life) and I got to see all of my children and grand children for Christmas. My husband and I found a house that I love and I get to see my sister and my mother often (would like to see the rest of our family and faraway friends a little more often than I do, but we all do what we can do). I hope that you all had an awesome 2015 and that we all have a bright and wonderful 2016! Have the happiest of New Years!