Derailed -- or Switching tracks?

So this week was a hard week for me. A very stressful, emotional, horrible week. I did something that I said I wouldn't do anymore -- I ate bad icky things because of my emotional upheaval. While its great to have a plan -- it is not as easy to follow said plan during an emotional time. I will keep trying, keep practicing, keep picking myself up - brushing myself off and moving on. Why? Because I am worth it  - the time that I spend trying to get healthier is not a waste of time, it is a gift to me -- better health. It is a gift to those who love me as well, because I will be around longer if I am taking care of my body.

Here is the thing with derailing -- did you really derail? Is it perhaps instead just an opportunity to switch tracks? Seriously -- So lets walk through this - I had a bad Wed (a really horrible day, was in tears off and on all day) I didn't think about my plan, I didn't think about food - I had a stop somewhere and instead of letting myself just cry in the car before I went into the office I did what I do I shoved the emotions down, went in to work - grabbed a small bag of Cheetos, a strawberry soda and a Butterfinger. -- none of these would be healthy regardless of the day, but all together? when I wasn't hungry? just stressed and emotional? spelled for a bad combo.

So, while my plan is excellent (for me) - it isn't going to work if I can't figure a way out in those situations to actually remember I have a plan! So what is a girl to do? Derail and stay in this bad place OR just switch tracks? I am going to revisit my plan - and find a way that will force me to actually use my plan - or at least remember its there.

I am going to fail I am going to fall down. I will not always be perfect. What I WON'T do is stay down. I won't make excuses -- I made bad choices in an emotional state and they were my choices to make. I won't stop trying, stop moving forward. I will not derail - I will simply switch tracks and keep going down this line I am on, until I find the perfect solutions for me, and hit my destination. How about you?

Goodbye Rubber Necking

I often find myself sitting on the interstate in what feels like a parking lot. Not knowing what lies ahead -- construction? a wreck? -- Truth be told it doesn't matter because either way the interstate has stopped moving and what should be 70mph has now become 0 - 10mph. It is frustrating, causes me anger (mostly at myself because I am usually running behind slightly or have deadlines) and what really angers me is when this happens because of a wreck on the other side of the interstate that has nothing really to do with us but people want to rubber neck to see what happened, causing slow downs and delays -- or an accident on our side.

Have you found that life seems to be like that? Not just on the interstate but in your own life...with your own goals? I have. Let me explain.

I have 3 children - and there is nothing that a mother doesn't want to do for her children. When they hurt, I hurt. I have mentioned in the past that I am an emotional eater. Sooo the wreck on the other side of the interstate (or house in this case) has caused me to slow down or stop my progress because I have stopped to rubber neck (comfort my child, commiserate, etc). While I am not saying this is a bad thing -- What I am saying is - stop letting random excuses get in the way of progress. I have let their things derail me and cause my own accident.

Quote - What you do to get in your own way is more powerful than any obstacle that others can place in your path - Gay Hendricks

My children didn't put this road block in front of me, I did this to myself. The people in my lane rubbernecking didn't have lights and sirens on our side of the street - they did this slow down and delay themselves.

I have to have ways to handle this or allow myself to forever be caught looking back and wondering what the heck just happened here? How did I just eat a box of cookies, I wasn't even paying attention! I don't want that anymore - I can NOT allow other peoples problems (or my own...because that's a whole different type of accident waiting for a place to happen)  to cause me to crash and burn. Stop rubber necking! By all means be there for your child - but eating your own emotions is bad enough - don't eat theirs too! (Or smoke theirs, or drink theirs, or or or....insert your own demon/addiction here)

Say goodbye to rubber necking on the highways, in your personal life -- keep moving forward full speed a head instead of slowing down or coming to a stop when it is sooo not necessary. Good luck my friends!

Pushing past the addiction

Hey there its me again, your friendly neighborhood food addict bringing you another edition of Goodbye to You! Addiction is a scary thing. No matter what it is you are trying to say goodbye to its so easy to get sucked back in and slide down that slippery slope. TRUST ME!!

Sugar and I have a huge love hate relationship and as much as I love it, I do not love the way that it makes me feel, depend on it, need it, crave it. I THINK that I get it whipped and then here comes another holiday or a "just this once" occasion -- and here I go on this roller coaster again.

I can't tell you how to beat it - I can't tell you to look it in the eye and never go back -- because here is the thing - sugar and I will never completely be done with each other - I have to find a way to co-exist because let me tell you (going back to the Christmas blog) There will be times that I want a glass of wine, a piece of birthday cake, holiday pie etc -- and I am not going to cease living just to stay away from this particular addiction -- but, let me tell you what I HAVE been doing

I have been limiting myself - sounds easy right? I know its not - but I try -- I start by making sure that I am not hungry when I am surrounded by that temptation - and stopping with one piece (if I even finish that) if it stops tasting amazing - save the rest for another time. I now that they holidays and company are past -- try to not keep all that good stuff in my house --- and I try to only eat treats after my dinner time meal -- why? Because I have eaten healthy all day, so I don't want to reverse all that good eating by going on a binge, I am less hungry and there is less of the day left to over do -- one treat (fruit counts on that too) -- My body thinks woohoo a TREAT!! So I don't feel deprived and I can continue off to bed without feeling like I have blown my whole week - might as well just binge eat!

Side note here - sugar/food addiction you can try to work on , if your slope is to slippery stay away from it -- but seriously folks -- do not try to moderate when its an alcohol, drug, gambling addiction that can destroy your lives -- not worth it - and if the food/sugar addiction is destroying your life as well -- still, not worth it!

Quote  -- and sorry in advance I don't remember where I read it but it is not mine!

Quote - Addictions are lies they promise escape, but only bring bondage. 

For me - I have been working on the why -- why do I feel the need to have this thing - what does it give me, what am I trying to mask by having it? We will go into this a little more in the future -- why? Because, honestly it is something I am still working through in my journey. 

You are the key to your journey to bring yourself out of the bondage of the addictions that hold you in captivity. Good luck in your journey to setting yourself free!  

Goodbye 2015

Today is a new day - a fresh start - a new beginning...welcome 2016!!

While most of the world is going to be working on new years resolutions or starting the latest greatest fitness plan, diet or pill/shake etc etc - I will be waxing nostalgic over 2015 and continuing with the plans that I have been working on for the better part of a year... I will continue to learn, to grow (mentally NOT in waist size!!) and to do what I am supposed to be doing.

So, this year was a GREAT year for me - I found the things that work for me with eating, and am wrapping my mind around what I need to do to stop my brain from getting in my way, and that's all well and good - but what I have found largely in 2015 was things that definitely don't work for me...and that is cool too! I will totally take that! Ya know why? Because it's something I wont try again because it didn't work.

Here is the thing - I have to do what works for me - which isn't going to be the same thing that works for you, or my husband, or the neighbor down the street. Our bodies are all different, our stresses are different, our hormones are different...we are not one size fits all...(which let me digress for a moment and say -- who the heck comes up with that -- it does NOT fit all, usually doesn't even fit most -- just slap your size M on there and call it a day already!) Ok -- so back to my other stream of thought, do NOT think that just because you may not be where you want to be after trying all year last year that it is time to give up. Just learn what you were meant to learn from that, know what doesn't work for you and move on. Find what does - keep researching.

What has my research taught me -- shakes/pills/potions/lotions/miracle cures -- not really a thing. (I am sorry if you sell one of these things -- but the reality in it is it may give an energy boost to help with the things that DO work for you and yay if they do) - but in my opinion healthy food by itself without the typical SAD (standard American diet) will do the same thing and have no side effects or extra costs incurred. There is not a magic cure.

For me - diets that count calories or points or other macro nutrients -- also not my thing. Why you may ask? Easy -- I am lazy! To me counting everything and looking it up continually is not sustainable and I could gain weight back -- and think about this carefully if you are eating 1200 calories in nachos and soda, you ARE staying in your calorie range or points - but what nutritional benefit does it give your body -- except maybe heartburn?

I will say on a non diet note that 2015 brought me great joys - my youngest daughter graduated high school, my middle daughter gave me another grand daughter (the 2 most beautiful lights of my life) and I got to see all of my children and grand children for Christmas. My husband and I found a house that I love and I get to see my sister and my mother often (would like to see the rest of our family and faraway friends a little more often than I do, but we all do what we can do). I hope that you all had an awesome 2015 and that we all have a bright and wonderful 2016! Have the happiest of New Years! 

Sayonara sleepless nights

I am exhausted! It's the happy kind of tired though - I had my girls here my daughters and my grand daughters and a good friend - didn't get a lot of sleep but enjoyed them sooo much - then the day after they left my son and his wife have arrived...I think I may need to sleep into the New Year.

So, even though its been fun...I am not as young as I once was and this is reaaaaaaaally taking its toll on me. (Not that I would change even one of these visits to include more sleep because I don't get to see any of them as much as I want)

I know that sleep deprivation can cause a great many things to happen (and let me state its not that one time staying up late -- or even the 2 weeks of no sleep I will have had from having company over...well mostly lol)

Did you know that lack of sleep can cause a weakened immune system, blood pressure to rise, depression and anxiety, moodiness, type 2 diabetes, and weight gain? Yowch!

For the weight gain its all about hormone responses - lack of sleep causes stress in the body (because hey it's not functioning at its best with no sleep) - which increases cortisol - cortisol causes your body to store fat instead of burn it, it lowers leptin which tells your body when you have had enough to eat - which can lead to over - eating annnd can raise levels of ghrelin which is an appetite stimulant also causing your body to want more food more food more food!

Remember last week we were talking about tracking -- I keep track of my sleep (so gee, this week I know how pathetic that has been) and have been looking at my bodies reactions to food this last week...definitely something there with this science stuff! (Sooo not a science girl -- my husband however, would totally be able to geek out over this information)

So, I will go into sleep and sleep habits next week, but this week was just about the information that it can cause issues (or a whole subscription) with your body if this is a continual chronic thing -- with the over eating -- hate to say that can happen after just one night -- that is why listening and paying attention (journal will show trends) to what your body is telling you...its a pretty smart thing and can give you more information for whats going on in YOUR body.

So -- try to get those ZzzzZZZZs in -- its as important as going to the gym and eating right -- it all plays a part -- and say sayonara to sleepless nights

Goodbye Holly Daze

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Joy Noel! Happy Hanukkah! -- Whatever your flavor is may you enjoy the best of the Christmas season!

I love the holidays. The kick off with Thanksgiving, the picking out of presents to give to family and friends. the food, the smells, the tree, the lights -- the magic!!! I especially love my time with my family.

Did I mention the food? It starts with Thanksgiving - the huge feast! Then comes the Christmas baking -- and all the joys that brings! Ooooh and then candy in the stocking, and the Christmas dinner. Last but not least -- not to be outdone -- New years eve - the finger foods, the fancy snacks and of course the booze! It is no wonder that people tend to gain over the holidays.

So, options here

1) Do what you have always done -- but expect those same results. Do not be blind to the fact that you cannot continue to make the same choices and expect different outcomes  (Lord knows this was my option of choice for many a year...we just didnt "count" the holidays!)

 

2) You can be self sacrificing -- stay away from all of those things. Now, if this option doesn't bother you or if you know that for you having any of the goodies at all is a slippery slope that leads to a 10 pound weight gain over the holidays...by all means pick this one.(I have done this one as well!)

3) You can enjoy the holidays with your friends and family without over feeding. Listen to your body -- really listen. If you are hungry eat to satisfaction, but don't gorge. If you know that you want a Christmas cookie or fudge or pumpkin pie -- plan for that but don't have the pumpkin pie after dinner and donuts and cocoa for breakfast and 2nd helpings at all meals...Do you see where I am going here? Enjoy without overindulging.  (this is the one I am picking this year!)

I only have one life and I know for me that I can not keep going down with that time off mentality. I also know that not only did not having any treats make me miserable but those around me as well because I was whiny and had the poor whoa is me mentality. This year, I will have a glass of wine with a friend, a cookie after dinner, the turkey with all the trimmings -- what I wont do is - make it an all day train wreck waiting for a place to happen. I wont eat the whole tray of cookies in one setting (not even in 2) I will indulge but I will not OVER indulge. I will feel good about the choices I make and enjoy my time with my family and friends while continuing our age old traditions.

I will be saying goodbye to the Holly Daze -- you know the one where you continue to blindly eat because omg dinner was so good you ate until you had to undo your pants button and then followed it by pie -- not just one slice but 3 because there were options...and options are a wonderful thing right? And then that is proceeded by the brain fog of having just way to much food in your stomach and your brain turns to a cloudy foggy place that just wants a nap somewhere --soooo not me this year...goodbye to that mindless eating and the daze that comes with. 

However you choose to celebrate and with whatever option you choose....Have a joyous holiday season from start to finish and a wonderful time with your family and friends!

Let It Go

My beautiful granddaughter Marlee just turned 2 and her favorite movie ever is Frozen. She loves anything related to frozen and that includes the songs, but in all actuality -- that's the part she loves the most. So believe you me when I say that if you are a member of her family -- you have heard the song Let It Go more than you could possible imagine! So -- lets talk about that a little bit -- about letting go.

I have carried a lot of baggage from the past around with me - and I am fairly certain that if it was measurable in a weighty sense that it would weigh at least as much as my body does -- coincidence? Probably not....let me explain.

We all have things in our lives that have shaped us into the eaters that we are today. I am no different. I have some things in my life that have been huge blessings - the mother that I have, my sisters, my husband, my children, my grandchildren and my dog. I have also lived through nightmares that most people can't conceive of in their normal everyday lives. It has shaped me (literally lol) into the person I have become.

When something happens in our lives we have ways to process it, and sometimes those ways are not the best for us emotionally or physically. A lot of us with weight issues tend to eat our emotions (I do!!), we tend to stuff those feelings down to deal with another day and use food to make us all better. The problem is -- tomorrow is always a day away. We don't deal with those issues - we gain weight and years later struggle to lose that weight because we no longer remember what it was that we were stuffing down originally anyway.

Look, I know everyone in the diet industry preaches keeping a food log - and it makes sense - it can let you know where your demons lie. For me I hate logging my food -- because it lets me know where my demons lie! Seriously, it can be scary to face those inner demons - and let me explain by example

Food Diary Example -

Breakfast - Avocado and Egg with salsa and bacon (started pretty good here)
Lunch - Chicken Salad - (still pretty good)
Got asked to do something at work that angered me because I was already busy and had plans -- and and and ---
Snack - candy bar (or 2), chips, popcorn, bowl of cereal
Ok - so this may sound crazy -- and it wasn't all at once but the one bad thing snowballed into really bad eating - I wasn't hungry - I didn't really need to fuel my body but it wasn't about hunger it was about stuffing the feelings of anger and frustration (or boredom, or tiredness etc etc -- insert your feelings here) - and trying to patch those over with food.
Dinner - fast food - because hey I have already ruined today might as well just have something easy that I want (although I was already way over fed and didn't need to eat at all)

Quote - Lao Tzu -  If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.

Pretty profound quote there -- I am heading by eating that way to stay over weight, to diabetes, to health problems for life. That has to (and has started to already) change. 

So, food diary, lets go back to that -- Don't just phone it in -- (this my friends is directed at me..but if the shoe fits put that baby on and wear it around!) - Put your food that you eat certainly -- if you want to really track it you can put how much but you all know when you go down that road how much you are capable of eating - I am worried less about the how much if I am eating healthy..but more importantly put when your tired, your angry, your happy -- it really helps you find those trends that started back in your past of using food as a drug of choice to self medicate away your feelings. If you can track these things for 2 weeks and then go back -- look at your trends and then make changes slowly based on what you find - you also can find a way to get rid of the old baggage and just let it go.